Displaced Deception

Dear boy,
You were always my enemy, you all but sucked the life out of me.
Your words were like deadly weapons that were destroying me, slowly killing me with each second.
I went to rehab and kicked the addiction of you.
You should be so sorry for the way you treated me, but it's okay.
You're my favorite liar, most visible scar.
I could've died as you buried me in your lies.
But I have secrets too.
The biggest one?


....I never loved you

We were meant to be together, so what happened to forever

Four years. That's how much of my life I spent desperately in love with him. That's how long I believed that he, my first love, would be the one I spent the rest of my life with. Four years he was my only obsession. In my eyes he was perfection in a 6'1 body and to him I was a crazy girl who he couldn't quite figure out. He told me that although he thought I was pretty, pretty was just one of the things I did that amazed him. Everything about Joseph was amazing. From the way he laughed whenever I said or did something stupid, to the way he could make smile even when I was having a bad day. I even loved when he yelled at me over the simplest of things. Our love was passionate, intense, and intoxicating. Everything it was, and wasn't, supposed to be. It's been over a year since we broke up and I've been trying to pretend it doesn't hurt anymore, but the truth is that I'm a wreck inside. Am I in love with him? No, those feelings disappeared a long time. But he was everything I waited for and if I ever fall in love again, it will never be the way I loved him.