Boys, boys, boys

Choosing between two great guys is always a difficult decision, especially when you like them both for different reasons. Guy 1 is incredibly sweet and we talk for hours. He really loves me and I trust him completely. However, lately I've been getting bored talking to him and I feel as though we don't have that much in common. Maybe I talked myself into liking him because he's safe and I know that he'll never break my heart. But he's also boring. I start arguments just to create some excitement in our relationship. There's also the fact that he's another race and that would definetely create conflict with my semi-racist family. Guy 2 let me down so many times in the past I'd started to lose faith in him but now he swears he's in love with me. He gives me such a rush and makes me smile about the smallest things. I always have to fight for his attention and it just makes me want him more. I never know where I stand with him and because of that I've spent many nights crying. So who do I choose...the guy who's safe and convenient and I'll never have to worry about hurting me, or the guy who has a hard time being faithful and I have a terrible time trusting but I want him so badly that he consumes my thoughts?

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Confession

I'm afraid of failure. Because of my fear, I don't take risks. I have to learn to believe in myself and know that I can do anything I put my mind to.

April Wishlist

I want this Dooney and Bourke bag so badly although I know I don't need it. I'm a sucker for all things Dooney and I own so many wallets and purses I should be a D&B spokesperson. I recently got a supercute hotpink handbag but I'm so over it now. Pink can only go with so many things.

I will promise myself I won't care...

We're officially done...at least for now. He messaged me a couple minutes ago and gave me some crap story about how he loves his girlfriend and he really wants to make it work with her this time around. According to him, I make it difficult for him to stay faithful, therefore we can't continue to be friends. It's amazing how I don't care anymore. If he had said this to me a month ago, I would have been devastated. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me for me and I no longer need that childish male to make me feel good about myself. Looking back, I don't understand what I liked/loved so much about him. Basically, I liked the attention he gave me because to be honest he only started liking me because of purely physical reasons. His exact words were, "You got fine. You've always been pretty, but now you're sexy." Translation: You were cute but not attractive enough to be worth my time. I should have seen through him right then but I'm a sucker for flattery and attention. I don't want to spend anymore time writing about him because as of now that situation is over and I'd like to keep it that way. I dedicated a lot of time and energy to what I thought was true love, but I don't regret it. I've learned a lot these past months and now I realize that he never really loved me...because love doesn't hurt that badly. Eh, at least I got a few good songs out of this disaster.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

March Wishlist

Due to the recent death of my Chi, I've been on the hunt for a new hair straightener. After spending an hour researching straighteners and checking out reviews, I've decided that the Sedu needs to be put on my wishlist. Speaking of hair, I've been debating about getting a new haircut. Summer is almost here and I'm thinking about a short bob or at least a shoulder length cut. My long hair is becoming such a hassle.

New Year, New Me

I'm so excited for 2009. Great things happened in 2008-I graduated from high school, started college, made amazing friends, and dropped the zeros-and I know 2009 is going to be so much better. I'm ready to forget about all the not so good things that happened last year. Last year I was all about having fun, but this year I'm going to focus on obtaining my goals and being the best person that I can be. School and my future career is going to be my main priority. I don't bother with resolutions because I never keep them and then I get disappointed in myself. I'd rather call them goals because that seems to be such a lighter word. These are my main GOALS for 2009.

-Write in my journal everyday
-Focus on school
-Stop obsessing over boys
-Continue exercising everyday
-Make new friends
-Stop buying unnecessary clothes

A change is coming...

After months of wearing "Vote" and "Barack the Vote" shirts and hoodies, it's all over. Words cannot express how I feel right now. Just the fact that I had the opportunity to be a part of this incredible change in America is just...gosh. This election brought so many people of different races and backgrounds together. Today during a rally, when Obama was announced as the next president, the girl next to me grabbed me and hugged me. It was just one of those moments where everyone came together and I'm going to remember it for the rest of my life.